You've Met Your Match
by Deliverer
Summary: It didn't take a genius to see her for what she was. He wondered why the parents didn't. She was vicious, evil, intriguing. He didn't fear her. Why? Everyone feared her. She was forced to admit a grudging respect, but together, Timmy would be done for.
1. Crocker

You've Met Your Match

(A/N: This is something new I decided to try. No one else has come up with a story under these characters, so I did. It would be interesting to see them team up of their own accord instead of through a wish. So far it's what people on this site call a 'twoshot.' I may do more with it, and I may not. It's rated T because of the undertones, which are controversial and disturbing to some, if you can catch them, but it could probably pass for K+ since I don't go deep into them. I hope you enjoy.)

Crocker

Bad, evil, society's bane. Those were the words that came to mind as he thought of what had just happened. Then again, he supposed it depended on the time period or place. Funny. He'd never see himself as an, ugh, committed or, gag, caring, man. He'd never had, choke, _feelings_. Well, there was once Principal Waxelplax, but he didn't want to go there at the moment. Basically, he was in love with fairy catching. He would marry it if he could. Then there was _her_.

He'd first seen the girl, wait not true. He'd seen her around Dimmsdale, and in fact had a vague memory of a fellow super villain called The Baby Shredder who looked much like her. He recalled working with her, but how could that be? Never mind that. He meant he had actually _seen_ her, when she had dropped that red capped menace, the annoying failure Timmy Turner, off at school. It wasn't hard to tell that she certainly wasn't the kind of girl Turner's parents would leave him with. If they knew, that was. So she was a manipulator. Nothing special there, right? _Then_ he had seen her in action. _Then_ he had become intrigued.

Children scattered at the sight of her, screaming. Fire seemed to appear behind her as she maliciously grinned. The children fell before her bowing and quivering. Even Francis, the bully, had looked unnerved. She had shoved Turner down then dragged him back up. He had heard her order, no, more bark, "Get moving twerp!" Turner had cried out in terror and run. She had followed right behind.

Intrigue led to fascination, admiration, wonder. He had been impressed. Well, well, there was someone besides him who hated Turner with a passion greater than most. He wondered what she was capable of; how far she'd gone _already_. His devious side was becoming apparent. She had then kicked open the door to the classroom, making him jump and cry out.

He had blinked blankly at the flaming redhead, Turner cowering behind her, trying to get away. She had reached back, seizing him. He had cried out, trying to bolt. She had dragged Turner inside and come right up to him, demanding, "Hey you, Timmy's teacher!"

He had looked her over and chosen to ignore, turning instead to Turner, demanding, "Quick Turner, what's the capital of Paris!"

Turner had replied, "Uh, France?"

"Wrong, F! Trick question! Paris isn't a country, it's a capital!" he had shot, stamping an F on the boy's forehead. He could tell from the look on the girls face that she had never been ignored before. She seemed shocked, blinking blankly. The bell had rung, and he had yanked Turner from her, making her pull back, then slammed him into his seat as the class filled. The girl looked lost, confused, and surprised.

He had then half back flipped to behind his desk and sat, flipping through papers. To anyone else it would look like marking, but they were really his notes on Fairy God Parents! "Class, read pages one to one-hundred in your books," he had dictated. They groaned. All at once he had realized that the girl was still there, staring at him, mortified.

He had frowned at her, asking in a bored, annoyed, tone, as he put down his papers, "Yes, can I help you?"

"The capital of Paris? You couldn't have come up with a better question than _that_?" she incredulously had asked.

His gaze had soured. "I'm sorry, can _you_ come up with better?" he challenged.

She had looked taken aback, then replied. Or began to, "Well, as a matter of fact…"

"Too slow, F!" he yelled, pulling out a long handled stamp and stamping her forehead. Timmy's mouth fell open. The class gasped in terror. The redhead looked surprise, but all at once she became infuriated, almost growling like a panther.

"Mr. Crocker…!" Timmy had begun to warn. He just looked obliviously up at her, eyes inquisitive, amazed by the sound.

"Listen Cracker!" the girl had begun, coming in front of the desk then leaning over.

"That's Denzel Crocker to _you_ missy," he had interrupted.

"It's Vicki, Vicki!" the girl, Vicki, had shrieked in outrage.

"I'm sorry. Mickie, I mean, Vicki," he had replied, bringing up his papers once more. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find a way to prove the existence of Fairy God Parents!" There he went spazzing again. Quickly he covered, "I mean marking these tests!" She had pulled back at the spaz, unsure whether to be shocked or afraid.

All at once, though, she knocked the 'tests' from his hands, barking, "Forget the tests!" He had been startled. The class watched in awe. She had seized his shirt, dragging him to her, declaring, "Now listen Crocker, dear sweet little Timmy's parents had me bring him to school today, and they also wanted me to give you a message. They want you to pile on his homework and make him answer every question. If he gets even one wrong, they want you to punish him, capishe?"

"What!" Turner had cried.

He had looked incredulously at her. He didn't buy a word of it. His eyes, however, became ponderous as he came up with an idea. "Solitary detention? Yes. It would be a perfect time to monitor him for Fairy God Parents!" Another spaz. Vicky dropped him in alarm, pulling back.

Recovering, she had demanded, "What are you, a wacko?"

"Do your parents know what sort of devil child they've raised?" he bit back.

"Why you pathetic weakling! Of course they know! They cower before me," Vicki replied. She laughed evilly, lightning and thunder cracking outside. He had raised his eyebrows at the lightning, but other than that seemed unimpressed.

"And…" he had fished, quickly growing bored of her repetition of trying to scare him. As if. He'd been a teacher for ten years. He'd seen it all. Well, nothing like _her_, but he wasn't fazed, particularly.

Her evil glare had fallen. She had looked blankly at him. "Why aren't you cowering before me?" she had asked.

"Why should I? When I rule the world with the help of Fairy God Parents…" another spaz, "no one will ever defeat me, and you, like everyone else, will bow before me!" He already had a vague recollection of something like that anyway.

"Oh will I! Sorry Cracker, but it'll be the other way around! And what's up with the fairy obsession?" she had questioned.

He had blinked blankly, then exclaimed as he pulled a lever on his desk, "Fairies!" A trap door had opened beneath her, and she fell through screaming! Turner and the class looked a mix between horrified, shocked, and awed. "Get to work!" Crocker ordered.

All at once the kids had erupted into cheers. Crocker looked at them, shocked. "Mr. Crocker, you just stood up to Icky Vicky!" AJ had exclaimed.

"It's never been done before! No one who's talked back to her has lived to see another day!" Chester said.

"Awesome!" the duo had cried.

"Mr. Crocker is a hero!" Sanjay had cheered.

"My boil salutes you sir," Elmer declared. Him and his boil Bob. Crocker could have scoffed, but didn't.

"Oh really? Well not for long. Pop quiz!" Crocker exclaimed, pulling a rope that dropped down a flood of papers onto the class. They had groaned.

Just then, however, the door had been booted open, off its hinges almost, and everyone had turned. Vicky was there, breathing heavily, eyes on fire. The papers were incinerated under the intensity of the glare. The kids blinked, then cheered, "Yay, Vicki's a hero!"

"Mr. Crocker!" she shrieked, silencing them.

He had looked blankly at her, taking in her features. Her hair was messy, she had scratches on her face, her eyes were blazing. For the first time, he felt terror grip his heart. At least, he had _hoped_ it was terror that made the shriveled little organ flip and seem to scream. The next thing he knew, she had dragged him out into the hall, him crying out.

He had faced her in fear, but he never grovelled, just looked down at her from his position pressed against the lockers. "So you made it out of the Crocker Cave alive, did you?" he had asked.

"You beat me," she growled.

"You seem surprised," he remarked, fear falling to annoyance.

"No one who beats me goes unscathed!" she declared.

"Oh no? Fairies!" he cried, suddenly whipping out a remote and pushing a button. From across the hall, from a locker, metal arms shot, grabbing her, pulling her to it. Feeling once more confident, Crocker walked across the hall towards his class, saying, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have F's to give."

She had looked shocked. "Wait!" she said. He paused, hand on the doorknob, and scowled at her, annoyed. "What's up with you and your personal war with Timmy?"

Crocker's eyes had widened. He had suddenly been alert. "How did you know I had it in for Turner?"

"Duh, there's like a folder full of pictures of him in your 'Crocker Cave,'" Vicky had replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Darn, I knew I should have bought locks for the filing cabinet," he had cursed himself.

"You know Denzel, I mean, Mr. Crocker," she had said in an appealing tone. It was then that every muscle in his body stiffened. "I've been thinking; we could make a great team. I hate Timmy, you hate Timmy. You're trying to find out if Fairy God Parents exist, and I've always thought something was weird about the twerp. Together we could make his life miserable. What do you say? Let's work together to finish Timmy once and for all. We'll both get what we want by the end of it anyway."

"A team up? Intriguing," he had mused. She was grinning innocently at him. His eyes hardened, seeming to say, 'Yeah right, who would fall for _that_?' Nonetheless, he pushed the button to release her, then faded into his classroom.

"Wait, was that a yes?" she called after him. He shut the door.


	2. Vicki

You've Met Your Match

Vicki

She was _not_ happy, she reasoned as his teacher went into the classroom. She was _not_ happy the twerp's parents were going to be gone for a week. She was _not_ happy that _she_ had been called in. She was _not_ happy that she had to drive him to school instead of sending him on the bus. "Why send him on the bus when you drive to school anyway?" his dad had asked. She was _not_ happy about driving him, so she had decided to even the score.

She _was_ happy when, as she and Timmy stepped out of her car, kids screamed, scattering. She _was_ happy with them bowing before her. She _was_ happy when that school bully, Francis, looked unnerved. It was then that she had looked up and caught sight of a man in the window, looking down at her, expression bored, then curious, then intrigued, then unimpressed once more. He had returned from the window.

She had been curious. She _wasn't_ happy with such a lack of fear. She hoped he was Timmy's teacher. She'd teach _him_ to not fear her.

She _wasn't_ happy with his response to her entrance. When he jumped, she had hope, but he promptly ignored her when she spoke, merely looking at her, then focusing on the twerp. She was slightly confused at his actions, a random question then an F, then grabbing Timmy from her and slamming him into his seat as the bell rang. The teacher had back flipped to his desk. She was shocked and mortified. For a moment she had a vision of a super villain with four robotic arms. Doctor Crocktopus was the name. She recalled working with him, but how? She didn't have super powers. She had barely noticed the kids enter the class after the bell.

No one just ignored her. Was she losing her touch? She had challenged him; he had turned it back on her. Never one to ignore a challenge, she had begun to reply. Not fast enough, for he had stamped her with an F. She had been furious. She had put on one of her most menacing expressions and growled like a panther. He seemed oblivious to the threat, unfazed. Why? Everyone feared her.

She heard Timmy call him Mr. Cracker, or something like that, to warn him off. When she called him Cracker, however, he had corrected her quickly. Denzel _Crocker_, then called her missy. Again she _wasn't_ happy, shrieking her name at him. She was pressed further when he called her Mickie, right after hearing her name, before correcting himself.

He'd mentioned Fairy God Parents. The spazzing majorly freaked her out. He had quickly covered himself by saying something about marking tests. She'd knocked them away and grabbed his shirt. He looked startled, not scared, if anything nervous. She had taken her revenge on Timmy, telling Crocker a pack of lies.

It startled her to find that, unlike most adults, he wasn't buying it. Maybe it came from years of teaching and catching kids in lies. His eyes had become thoughtful, though, and she practically saw an idea forming. He mentioned solitary detention. She had become interested on hearing this. That was cold. He'd then mentioned fairy god parents again. She'd asked him if he were a wacko. He'd retaliated, eyes narrowing, and he actually dared to talk back, calling her devil child. She'd lost it at him, yelling, then laughing evilly. Lightning had crackled, kids screamed. Timmy's teacher, though, had simply raised curious eyebrows at the lightning from nowhere, nothing more. Unimpressed, he had asked, "And…?"

She was shocked. What was _with_ this guy? She asked him why he wasn't cowering. He had said something about ruling the world with the help of, surprise, surprise, fairy god parents. She'd threatened him saying it would be the other way around, then demanded to know what was with the fairy obsession. He blinked, then had pulled a lever, crying, "Fairies!" She'd screamed, falling.

She had found herself in a secret laboratory and gasped. "Whoa, Crocker has good taste," she had remarked aloud, seeing various potential torture instruments as she walked through. She needed to find a way out. "Ow!" she had cried, as she had bumped into a filing cabinet. It opened, and the first thing she saw was a file with Timmy's name.

She grabbed it and looked through. Ooh boy, Crocker really was a cracker. Fairy God Parents, hah. Then again, she had always thought Timmy had a secret. The next thing she had realized, alarms went off. Strange machines popped out all around her, blades whirring. She screamed and ran desperately, trying to escape with her life!

She had barely made it out alive, having spotted a 'secret' exit. Not much of a secret, since it was labeled. She had found herself in the school yard. He had beaten her. _No_ one beat her. How? She had been intrigued once more, then her eyes hardened. Yet again, she _wasn't_ happy. She was ticked off. She raced back to the class, booting open the door.

She had seen his surprise. His expression betrayed that he was impressed, shocked, awed. Before he could react, she had dragged him into the hall and slammed him into the lockers. There was the fear she had wanted to see. She had threatened him. No one ever beat her and got away with it. He hadn't been daunted, fear quickly fading. That _really_ ticked her off. He had replied, "Oh no? Fairies!" Next thing she had known, arms from a locker shot out, dragging her to them, holding her still. He had walked by like nothing happened, saying he had to get back to giving F's. No fear. She hated to admit it, but she was impressed. Hardly anyone impressed her. That was when the idea had hit her.

They both had it in for Timmy. They both knew he had a secret, though she'd long ago shoved that knowledge out of her mind and focused on tormenting him. Two of a kind, in a 'we hate Timmy Turner' way. She'd offered a, blech, team up. She rarely did anything like this. She had to put on an appealing tone to get his attention. An order wouldn't work for _this_ character, as much as she hated to admit it.

He'd admitted to intrigue at the proposition. She put on an innocent grin. He didn't buy it, as his eyes hardened. His gaze betrayed that he knew she was as false as a wax figurine. Rare for the adults in this town. He'd released her without a word, then entered the classroom. She was surprised, and for some reason, a little put out that he didn't answer. She had called, "Is that a yes?" The door had shut. Is that a yes? What kind of question was _that_? Now she was _really_, _really_ not happy.

Vicki growled at nothing, still seething. She headed across the school yard to her car. Crocker went distractedly to the window, forgetting the kids. He saw Turner's babysitter, Vicky, heading to her vehicle. He raised an eyebrow, then said aloud, "Oh what the hay? What do _I_ have to lose?" He threw open the window and called, "Yes!" She looked back, startled. Crocker slammed the window after his random outburst. The kids were looking weirdly at him. "Back to work!" he ordered. Vicki blinked, from the school yard, then grinned maliciously. Oh, she was in, and twerp would suffer! All they needed was a plan. She laughed as lightning and thunder struck.

* * *

><p>(Final Notes: The song 'Don't Stand So Close To Me' by the police, not Glee, comes to mind, vaguely. I hope you liked it. It would be interesting to see a Crocker Vicki team up something like this, though, without the undertones I used. That would be way to controversial for a cartoon.)<p> 


	3. Cake 'N' Bacon Meeting

You've Met Your Match

(A/N: After much debate, I decided to carry on with this story. There were undertones of something in the first two chapters, but from here on, at least for this one, it tones down to something more societally acceptable. Sorry for the long wait, those who actually like this story. I may actually finish putting it all up today. Depends. Enjoy.)

Cake And Bacon Meeting

"Uh, _why_ are you coming in again Vicky?" Timmy asked curiously, looking up at his babysitter, confused.

"Because, twerp, as long as _I'm_ driving you, your school life will be a total wreck," she replied, annoyed. They screeched to a stop outside the school. Promptly Vicky booted Timmy out of the car then followed, grinning evilly. Once more the children looked at her and screamed, scattering. "I love it when they do that," Vicky remarked. Timmy's eyes shut halfway in a 'just my luck' type of expression. The bell rang, and angrily he marched towards his class, Vicky following.

Crocker looked up, as the door opened, then said, "Well Turner, glad to see you could join us. Too bad it wasn't five seconds later. I could have given you detention."

"Can it Crocker; he's here," Vicky said from behind Timmy.

Crocker cried out in terror, startled, then looked at Timmy's escort. "Oh, it's _you_," he said, eyes narrowing half way as he frowned at her. "What do you want _now_?"

"Have you forgotten already?" she angrily asked.

"No," he simply said. He rose, saying, "Class, a five-hundred word essay on the merits of cheese and fairies." Walking towards her, he added, "Miss Vicky, if I may have a word with you, _in the hall_!" He walked passed her, not sparing a glance. He was too busy for such frivolities. Fairies didn't catch themselves.

Vicky blinked. "Miss?" she questioned, not accustomed to such a formal term. She followed, however, shutting the door.

"Dude, I think they're plotting against you," Chester remarked to Timmy.

Timmy blinked, then whispered to a pencil Cosmo, eraser Wanda, and sharpener Poof, "What a terrifying prospect."

"You said it Timmy," Cosmo replied. "Icky Vicky and Crazy Crocker _both_ after you? Man, what a nightmare _that_ would be."

"Cosmo, he's gone against them both before," Wanda reasoned. "Remember the Baby Shredder, Dr. Crocktopus, and Bull-E? Not to mention Nega Chin."

"Yeah, but he hasn't gone against just _them_," Cosmo replied.

"I'm sure it won't be difficult Sport," Wanda assured.

"Poof," Poof said, agreeing with his mommy.

"I hope so," Timmy worriedly replied.

Vicky walked to the lockers on the other side of the hall, then turned, facing Crocker. The teacher was suspiciously looking around. On sensing she was waiting, he blinked, then faced her, asking, "Well, what's on the agenda Miss Vicky?"

"Our partnership," she replied, purposely omitting any detail. He frowned at her, looking unimpressed, and waited for her to continue. She challenged him right back, but when he looked at his watch, bored, she gave in, continuing, "Fine, _I'll_ think of everything. Well, we need a plan. How about we meet at the Cake And Bacon and discuss it?"

"Fine. At what time?" Crocker asked, looking at his watch again.

"Oh, say six thirtyish?" Vicky replied.

"Fine by me," he agreed.

"Good, if you know what's good for you, you won't keep me waiting," she threatened. "Here's my address and number for future reference," she said.

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her, but replied, "I suppose." He snatched it, adding, "I could have easily found you in the system though; but then, this is so much more convenient, _to me_!" Crocker read it over, then began to look around again.

"What are you looking for anyway Crocker?" Vicky asked, curiosity and annoyance getting the best of her.

Just then a voice yelled, "Crocker!"

"Ah! That!" Crocker exclaimed, turning sharply to face the person. "Geraldine, what a pleasure," he nervously stated.

"Why aren't you teaching?" she asked suspiciously.

"What? Oh, I was, you know, just…" he stammered, trying to come up with a lie.

There was no need, however, for just then Principal Waxelplax noticed Vicky. She looked curiously at her, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, can I help you? Aren't you in the wrong school?"

"Oh, I just dropped by to see the teacher who changed my life," Vicky innocently replied, utilizing the angelic look that had fooled so many parents. Crocker rolled his eyes, but when Waxelplax looked at him in disbelief, he grinned innocently.

"He what?" Waxelplax blankly repeated.

"I'm sorry, you must have gotten soap in your ear," Vicky insulted, though by her sugar coated tone you'd never guess. "I'll repeat myself. The _teacher_ who _changed_ my _life_."

Waxelplax burst into laughter, saying, "Crocker! Denzel 'crazy cuckoo fairly obsessed maniac' Quincy Crocker!"

"I can _hear you_!" Crocker shot, frowning.

Without so much as batting an eyelash, Vicky replied, "You bet." She practically skipped and pranced over to him, hugging him. He stiffened in horror. "He was the best teacher I ever had."

"_Touching_!" he yelled. She pulled back, startled, and looked blankly at him.

"You're kidding," Waxelplax remarked.

"Why is it so hard to believe?" Crocker demanded.

"Well, it's just that…" she began.

"Oops, look at the time, I've got to go. Remember Mr. Crocker," Vicky chimed.

"Con artist," he said bluntly.

"What?" Waxelplax asked, confused and guarded.

"Inside joke, bye," Vicky quickly explained to the incredulous principal. With that, she dashed off.

Geraldine looked at Denzel ponderously. Quickly he said, "Oh, look at the time, gotta teach, bye." With that, he darted inside his class.

"Strange," Waxelplax remarked to no one, still wondering how on earth _Crocker_ could change a student's life.

Crocker put down the last of his marking, then went to the front door, calling, "Goodbye mother, I'm off to the Cake 'N' Bacon!"

"Whatever for, Denzel?" she questioned.

"I'm, uh, meeting someone," he replied vaguely.

Like a shot she was there, asking with a big grin on her face, "Really, a girl?"

"You could say that," he responded, trying to get away.

She blocked his exit, questioning, "Is she pretty?"

"Mother, please, she's the, uh, peer tutor, yeah, that's it, from the high school, that's all," he shot, getting annoyed.

"Denzel, a younger woman!" his mother demanded.

"Goodbye mother!" Crocker yelled angrily, hurrying out.

Vicky watched the clock in the Cake 'N' Bacon like a hawk. That teacher had better be punctual, or there would be Hades to pay. Just as the clock struck six-thirty, his car drove up. He climbed out, obviously in a bad mood. Then again, when _wasn't_ he in a bad mood? He entered, and she said, "About time."

"Oh please, I'm right on the button," he retorted. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need coffee _and a Danish_." He walked by her and up to the register, her following.

"Welcome to the Cake And Bacon, may I take your order?" the pimply teenaged boy with red hair behind the counter asked in a nasally voice.

"One medium coffee and an apple Danish," Crocker tiredly ordered. "Vicky?" he asked.

"Hey, don't look at me. I'm cutting back on pastry's," she replied.

"Teenagers," Crocker grumbled. "They're almost as bad as little children."

"Fine. I'll have a hot chocolate and a cupcake," she placed, in retaliation to Crocker's disdain.

"That'll be ten dollars," the cashier said.

"What! That's highway robbery! Why I oughta…" Vicky began.

"Oh boy," Crocker said, annoyed. She looked blankly at him. He wasn't even looking at her, so any death glare she shot would have no effect. She frowned, then reached for her purse, but Crocker already had his wallet out, and was reaching in, saying, "Leave it. I've got it covered."

Vicky replaced her own wallet and smirked, suddenly intrigued, saying, "Oh, _do_ you?"

He caught the tone and retorted, eyes narrowing at her as if he were a scolding parent, "Right, and don't expect it often. _Or ever again_! A teacher's salary isn't worth your breath. No gold digger in their right mind will go for a professor."

"Why Mr. Crocker, how could you _think_ such a thing?" she asked innocently.

"Let me count the ways," he retorted as their food and drinks came. He took them, then said to Vicky, "Ladies first, Vicky."

She shrugged, replying, "Whatever floats your boat Crackpot."

"It's Crocker, Zippy," he corrected, purposely messing up her name.

"It's Vicky!" she yelled as they sat.

"Whatever," he replied.

She reached into her purse for something, then frowned, bringing out a sheet of paper. "Oh great, I forgot about this," she complained.

He handed her, her cupcake and hot chocolate, then asked, "About what?"

"Science homework," she complained. "I mean really, who cares what DNA stands for anyway?"

"In other words you don't know," Crocker stated.

"Of course I know!" she yelled.

"Oh yeah, then what?" he challenged.

She became nervous, stammering, "Uh, well, um…"

"Oh please, I've been a teacher for ten years. I know what students mean when they say no one cares," he said, annoyed she thought she could pull one over on him.

She twitched, then replied in a mutter, "Okay, you got me. I'm clueless. Worst of all, we're not allowed to use our books. Whose bright idea was _that_ anyway? Every _other_ science class gets to, but not _mine_."

"Deoxyribonucleic Acid," Crocker said.

"Dewhatsonosceltic what?" she asked.

He slapped his forehead, then repeated, breaking down the word into syllables, "De-ox-y-ri-bo-nu-cle-ic Acid. DNA."

"Oh… thanks…" she replied, blushing in embarrassment. She should have known that one. "Now if I only had a pencil." He handed her one. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, then asked, "Do all you teachers carry around school supplies?"

"How should _I_ know?" Crocker asked, sipping the coffee.

Fair enough answer, she guessed from looking at him. "Okay," she said, writing down the answer. "RNA must be Ribonucleic Acid then, but what's ATP? Why can't I get it?"

"Adenosine Triphosphate," he supplied.

"Oh," she said, blinking.

"You're actually having trouble with this, aren't you?" he asked.

"Well, sort of," she admitted.

"Do you know the building blocks of DNA, the four letters?" Crocker asked.

"A,T,G, and C, sometimes T can be substituted for U, but we haven't gotten to that yet," she replied.

"Do you know what they mean?" he asked.

"A is paired with T or U. G is paired with C," she replied.

"I mean do you know what the letters stand for?" he asked.

"T is Thymine," she replied, shrugging and grinning innocently.

"Didn't your teacher give you notes?" he asked.

"He talked, but never wrote anything down," she answered.

"Of course not. Why doesn't that surprise me? A stands for Adenine, G for Guanine, and C for Cytosine," he narrated, motioning for her to take notes, and writing them down himself on a children's chalkboard, complete with diagram. She copied it. "Now, while DNA is a double helix, RNA is single. DNA carries all the information and genetic makeup of a human, and determines, from conception, what said human will look like; gender, eye color, skin color, etcetera." She wrote this down eagerly. "We're not here for a science lesson though," Crocker interrupted, slamming down the board and making her jump. He then got right to business, saying, "We need a plan."

Vicky was taken aback by the sudden change in subject, but nonetheless replaced the paper and handed back the pencil. He'd answered enough of her questions to pass anyway. Thinking over his statement, she simply replied, "Intimidate, torture, maim, overthrow."

He blinked at her, then knit his eyebrows coldly. "You call that a _plan_?" he asked.

"It's _my_ kind of plan," she replied dreamily, thinking of all the ways she could torment Timmy, aka the twerp. Quickly coming back to reality, she continued, "Besides, it's not like _you_ have anything better."

"Oh no? We give Turner a book to read for an assignment, when really it's a magic detecting book. When he comes back with traces of magic, we kidnap him and bring him to the Crocker Cave. There, we can finally discover his, _Fairy God Parents_!" Crocker replied as he spazzed out.

"I like _my_ idea better!" Vicky shot.

"And I like _mine_!" Crocker retorted.

"Well, we can't do both!" Vicky protested.

Denzel froze, relaxed, then smirked evilly, asking, "Oh can't we?"

She relaxed, raided a curious eyebrow, and asked, "What are you getting at Cracker?"

"How about this? When you bring him in tomorrow, intimidate him by mentioning a surprise assignment I have in store that will cost him seventy percent of his final grade. If he asks how you know, tell him I slipped up about it," Crocker began.

"Oh, I get it. By the time I drop him off, he'll be so panicked that the sound of a pin dropping will spook him. When you burst in, he'll practically die. Ooh, better yet, tell him that you assigned it on a day he wasn't in class, and that it's due that day. He'll rush to get it done, but won't be able to. When he begs you to give him another chance, kind benevolent teacher you are, you'll give it to him," she continued.

"Right, only the book I give him will be coated in a special magic detecting formula I've developed," Crocker said.

Incredulously, Vicky asked, "Are you sure it works?"

"_Don't question me_!" he barked, now in the zone for planning. She scowled at him, but decided to let him go on. "As I was saying, when he comes back, I, with my magic detector, shall scan the magic book for traces of fairy dust; and when I get the positive results…"

"I can't believe I'm helping you with this crazy theory," Vicky said. "Don't think I buy it either, but you then inform me, and I find an excuse to get the twerp and bring him to your hideout thingy."

"Crocker Cave!" he yelled.

"Whatever. We chain him up and order him to tell us the truth. If he doesn't, then I can start the torment," Vicky continued, growing excited.

"I maim him by confiscating any green, pink, or purple objects he has with him, and locking them in my magic repelling vault!" Crocker continued.

Vicky looked at him like he was insane, which really wasn't far from the truth, then said, "Yeah, sure Denzel." He frowned at her use of his first name. "I wanted to actually maim him."

"You're the tormentor. Do what you want. See if _I_ care. One less mouth to teach," Crocker answered. "But if torturing him doesn't work, then I'm in trouble."

"No you aren't," Vicky chimed in a sing song voice, eyes becoming malicious.

He smirked and leaned ahead, folding his hands and resting his chin on them. "Sounds like you have a plan."

"You bet I do. If the weird pink, green, and purple objects he always has are really as important to him as you suspect, we move onto torturing _them_," she said.

"Torturing an eraser, pencil, and sharpener?" Crocker asked doubtfully.

"Can you say fire?" she asked. "Ooh, better yet, grind the pencil down to nothing with the sharpener, smash the sharpener, and rip apart the eraser."

"You're right. I never thought of that. If they're his fairies, he'll finally break, and I will have proof once and for all that Turner has _Fairy God Parents_!" Crocker crowed, spazzing.

"And I'll get the satisfaction of torturing Timmy. Twerp's going down! _Oh yeah_!" Vicky crooned.

"Yes, and then we shall harvest the magic of his fairies, and we can overthrow all of Dimmsdale, then all the United States, then the world!" Crocker victoriously cried.

"Why stop there? Together we can overthrow the universe!" Vicky added. With that, the villainous duo laughed wickedly.

Just then the pimply red head worker said, "Hey, can you keep it down? The customers can't hear over your evil plans of treachery, deceit, and world domination."

"Sorry," Crocker replied. The worker walked away, and the two quietly snickered. All at once they stopped and looked at each other. Since when did they classify themselves as working together to rule the cosmos? Oh well, now wasn't the time to work out those petty details. They could do that later.

"Crocker?" a woman suddenly asked.

Crocker and Vicki gasped and whirled. "Geraldine!" Crocker exclaimed.

"What are you doing here with this girl?" Principal Waxelplax asked, recognizing Vicky.

Crocker looked back at Vicky, who was filing her nails, then replied, "I was, uh, tutoring her."

"You were?" Vicky asked.

"_Yes_! Therefore, E=mc2 means energy equals mass times the velocity of light squared," Crocker explained.

"Really?" Vicky asked, truly surprised.

"You didn't know that? What are they _teaching_ you children?" Crocker asked. She grinned and shrugged guiltily.

"Oh, well, okay," Principal Waxelplax reluctantly said, looking at Vicki. With that, she walked off. "Quick, let's get out of here," Crocker hissed.

"What's _with_ you?" Vicky questioned, though they both rose and dashed out, finishing their snack.


	4. Plans Put Into Action

You've Met Your Match

(A/N: Second up today. This chapter is more focused on Timmy for all you fans out there. Really I should only put up one or two chapters a day, to maximize reader potential, but this story has lain dormant far too long now. I need to get it out there. I guess I'll just hope for the best. Enjoy.)

Plans Put Into Action

"Okay, you're driving me to school. Again. Why? What's with the sudden interest in driving me? I thought you'd ship me off on the bus, or in a package," Timmy suspiciously interrogated.

"Oh, no reason. I just love spending time with my adorable little ward," she replied, patting his head. He didn't like the innocent grin on her face.

"Oh _really_?" he asked.

"Of course Timmy. This way I get to watch you squirm as I tell you that your teacher assigned a class book report worth seventy percent of your final grade. On a day you weren't paying attention!" Vicky crooned.

"What!" Timmy demanded, horrified, mouth dropping and him going pale.

"It's due today," Vicky said.

"How do _you_ know!" Timmy demanded, panicking.

"Oh, Crocker slipped up about it," Vicky answered. "He couldn't wait to fail you, but I like this way better. He doesn't have much faith in your abilities, does he?" Timmy screamed in horror then whipped out a pencil and paper and grabbed the first book he could get his hands on, incidentally a gossip magazine. Furiously he scribbled away while Vicky cruelly laughed.

"This isn't good sport. Why didn't you pay attention? If I've warned you once, I've warned you a hundred times," Wanda stated.

"Can't talk, busy writing," Timmy said. Just then the car screeched to a stop. Timmy looked up, sweating, then cried, "Oh no, we're here!"

"Ta ta twerp. See you on the other side," Vicky sang, booting him out. With that, she tore away. Timmy looked up at the school. Just then the warning bell sounded. He cried out in terror.

"Run Timmy, run!" Cosmo exclaimed. Timmy bolted.

"Poof, Poof!" Poof said excitedly.

Timmy sat at his desk sweating and looking nervously around. He swallowed. Where was Mr. Crocker? Just then the door banged open, and Timmy screamed, leaping to the roof. "Hello class," Crocker cruelly said, maliciously grinning. "I'm sure you're all prepared for today." Looking up at the roof, he frowned, ordering, "Turner, get down from the ceiling! If you hurt yourself _I_ get sued." He walked to his desk. Timmy swallowed, then dropped to his seat, shaking.

"This is bad, man, bad," Chester whispered to Timmy.

"Usually when Crocker's in _this_ good of a mood, something bad happens to one of _us_," AJ stated. Timmy broke into a sweat.

"Now class…" Crocker began.

"Sport, maybe you can get an extension," Wanda offered.

"From _Crocker_?" Timmy demanded.

"Beg on hands and knees like an insignificant snivelling little slave," Cosmo cheerily said.

"As to your last assignment…" Crocker continued.

Timmy cried out in terror then leapt to the front of the class, falling to his hands and knees, begging, "Mr. Crocker, _please_, I'm _begging_ you, give me another chance! I didn't know, I swear! I wasn't paying attention! Give me detention for the rest of my life, chain me to my desk, but please give me another chance to do the assignment, please!" He burst into tears, grovelling.

"All this for a paragraph on the merits of fairies?" Sanjay whispered to Elmer.

Elmer shrugged, saying, "I thought he'd done it, but I guess he really wants to pass."

Crocker blinked, then smirked cruelly. Oh, this would work. "Well Turner, normally I would love to relish this moment, torment, and fail you for forgetting about your report, but I suppose I can make an exception this once. I'm in a kind benevolent mood today."

Timmy stopped bawling and blinked in shock, eyes dry and confused, asking, "What?"

"You heard me," Crocker said. He reached into his desk and pulled out a book. Handing it to Timmy, he said, "There you are Turner. This is the book you'll be using."

Timmy took it, saying in confusion, "Uh, _thanks_ Mr. Crocker."

"Now class, _pop quiz_!" Crocker shouted.

Timmy read through the book frantically, yawning. It was almost midnight! "Oh man, this book is _long_, and almost as insane as _Crocker_," Timmy complained.

"Remember Timmy, it's worth seventy percent. Don't give up now," Wanda prompted, poofing up a cup of wake up hot chocolate, then poofing up a bottle for Poof.

"Doesn't seventy percent seem excessive? Even for _Crocker_," Cosmo said. They blinked blankly at him. "What?" Cosmo asked.

"Whoa, you might actually _have_ something," Timmy remarked, looking at the book. "An assignment _this_ big _does_ seem a little weird for Mr. Crocker."

"Poof, poof, poof Vicki, poof, poof, poof, Crocker," Poof said.

"What's that poof? You say that it's strange Vicki hasn't come up here to torment me either, almost as if she knows something about why this assignment was given by Crocker?" Timmy asked. "Wow, can't believe I just translated that."

"Now that he mentions it, it's strange how ever since their first confrontation, Vicki's been willingly driving you to school, and speaking to Crocker in sweet whispered secrecy," Wanda remarked.

"Ooh, she likes him," Cosmo said.

Wanda blinked, then frowned, zapping Cosmo. "Oh please, she's sixteen. If she likes anything about him it's his cruel insanity and hatred for Timmy," Wanda stated. Timmy was still twitching from the thought.

Shaking out of it, he looked worriedly at the book, saying, "What if Crocker and Vicki really _are_ teaming up against me? What if this book report is some kind of trap?"

"Can you really risk not doing the report though, sport, just in case?" Wanda asked.

"I'll do it, but I won't like it," Timmy sulked, turning back to the book and his writing.


	5. Positive Results

You've Met Your Match

(A/N: This Story is short. One more chapter after this, in fact. This one is the third put up today. I could have done better, but trying to stick to Fairly Odd Parents format and losing my 'muse' for this story didn't help much.)

Positive Results

Vicki booted Timmy out of the car again. Timmy grimaced, rubbing his sore backside. He was going to have bruises, or a broken tail bone, by the time _Vicky_ was done with him. He darted towards the school before his babysitter could come out. Bursting into class panting, he looked up at Crocker, saying, "I've got it!"

The class looked curiously at him. Crocker blinked, then smirked. Rising he took the paper and book, saying, "So you got it done, did you Turner? Now most teachers would be impressed, _but not me_! We'll see how well you've done. Sit down."

Timmy swallowed and went to his desk. Crocker smirked evilly, then looked back at the book, an insane glint in his eyes. He hurried to the desk and pretended to be marking. Secretly, however, he drew out a small device. A magic detector! Holding it near the book, he flicked it on. It beeped quietly for a moment, nothing being read. All at once, though…

Timmy nervously chewed on a pencil Cosmo, who was giving exclamations of pain as Wanda cringed and covered Poof's eyes. Suddenly Crocker said, "Good news Turner."

Timmy instantly perked up, asking in hope, "I passed!"

His smile fell, though, on seeing Crocker's expression. Oh it was rare his teacher showed a look like this. He looked like the cat that had just eaten the mouse, or rather caught it and was preparing a cruel game. "Oh yes Turner, you passed. You passed with flying colors." Everyone in the class gasped in shock. Crocker rose, saying, "Excuse me children, I have to make a call." Timmy swallowed as Crocker left.

Crocker hurried to the staff room, then looked furtively around. No one was near. He grabbed the phone, Vicki's cell number, and quickly dialled it. "Vicki's babysitting service," Vicky replied in her sugar coated tone.

"Drop the tone Vicki! The results were positive," Crocker shot.

"What!" Vicky veritably screamed. He held the phone from his ear. "That's impossible, you've lost it! Fairies don't exist, they _don't_!"

"That's none of your concern! Your part in this is to have fun torturing Turner, now get over here and do your portion!" Crocker barked.

"No one but no one bosses me around bub!" Vicki shot.

"Welcome to reality little girl," Crocker said. Vicky screamed furiously again as Crocker put down the phone. "Devil child," he muttered, walking back to the class.

Crocker stood at the board lecturing the class on mathematics, science, and, not surprisingly, how both supported the existence of none other than Fairy God Parents. Just then the door was opened, and Vicki walked in, sweetly saying, "Good morning Mr. Crocker, twerps. I've come for darling Timmy."

"What! Why!" Timmy demanded, horrified.

"Because I can," Vicky replied. "I'm going to take you out for lunch."

"What kind, dog food?" Timmy demanded.

"Turner, you're excused," Crocker cut in.

"Isn't your job as a teacher to protect your students!" Timmy demanded.

"Since when have I done that?" Crocker questioned. Timmy blinked. Right, stupid question, of course Crocker wouldn't waste his breath on anything short of fairy hunting. Timmy grumbled as he left his desk and went towards his babysitter.

"You'll love the surprise I have in store for you," Vicky menacingly declared.

"Like a punch in the gut," Timmy whispered to Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof.

Vicky led him to a locker then spun the dial. "Hey, how do you know the combination to Crackpot's locker?" Timmy suspiciously questioned, on seeing who it belonged to. As if he needed to ask. He was getting a bad feeling about this. Slowly he was backing away. All at once, however, Vicki whirled and grabbed him, throwing him inside then leaping in with him, pushing a button. Instantly the two dropped through!

They landed hard inside the Crocker Cave. Rather, Timmy did. Vicky landed softly on the mattress. Just then they heard clapping, and a chair turned around. Timmy gasped. Vicki just grinned maliciously. Crocker! "Welcome Turner."

"Mr. Crocker!" Timmy exclaimed.

"How'd you get down here so fast anyway?" Vicky questioned, rising from the mattress.

"Trap door under my desk," Crocker replied.

"How many secret entrances do you _have_?" Vicky questioned.

"More than you'll ever know," Crocker replied.

"Wait, who's watching the class?" Timmy demanded.

"Turn to page eighty in your text books class, and let us discuss how to build a robotic fairy hunting army," a robotic voice said. The Crockbot!

"Whoa, Crocker shrunk," Chester remarked.

Timmy blinked, then frowned, saying, "Of course."

Suddenly a group of robotic arms shot out, drawing in Timmy to a metal table! "You're _ours_ now, twerp," Vicky stated.

"Oh no, what shall I do," Timmy boredly said. "I sure wish I…" Timmy began. Crocker gasped. Just then, though, Vicky pushed a button on the remote Crocker held, and a robotic arm covered Turner's mouth. Timmy's eyes widened as his fairies gasped.

"Oh, I was going to do that," Crocker sheepishly said.

"Sure you were Cracker," Vicky replied.

Crocker frowned, then muttered something about smart aleck teenagers as he went towards Timmy. "I'll take that pencil, eraser, and sharpener, thank you," Crocker said, snatching them. He went to his magic repelling vault and tossed them in.

Shaking the arm, Timmy demanded, "What do you think they are? Fairies?"

"We'll find out, won't we?" Vicky sweetly questioned.

"Now he's dragged _you_ into this!" Timmy shot.

"Oh please, fairies are for little kids," Vicky replied. Crocker scowled at her. "_My_ goals are a little more grim than that," Vicki added, ignoring the glare.

Timmy gasped as Vicki pulled out a chainsaw, grinning evilly! "Wow, did _not_ see that coming," Timmy remarked. "On second thought, yes I did."

Crocker blinked at her, her grin fell to curiosity. "What?" she asked.

"We're looking to torture him, not kill him," Crocker remarked, frowning.

"Hey, leave this to the expert," Vicki insisted. Turning to Timmy, she added, "Now listen twerp, we'll give you two chances to tell the truth. Chance one. Do you have fairy god parents?"

"Like I'd tell _you_!" Timmy shot.

"Chance lost!" Vicky exclaimed, chopping the table right next to his head. He cried out in terror.

"Timmy, no!" Wanda cried, holding a scared Poof close after the three had changed back to normal. "Cosmo, we have to do something!" She blinked on seeing her husband. He was busy eating popcorn, amused by it all! "Cosmo!" Wanda shot.

"What? This vault repels magic. All we can do is sit back and enjoy the show," Cosmo defended. Wanda blinked blankly, then face palmed.

"Chance two," Vicky stated as Timmy cried out in pain from a variety of gadgets Vicky was using on him. Of course none he hadn't seen or felt before, but all together was too much! "Do you have Fairy God Parents?"

"I'll never talk!" Timmy stated. He burst into laughter as the feather took over for the sharp tools. Crocker just waited patiently.

"You won't talk? Is that your final answer?" Vicki questioned, enjoying every minute.

"Yes!" Timmy shouted.

She abruptly stopped. "Fine. Time to bring out the big guns," she added, glancing at Crocker. Crocker smirked evilly.


	6. Who Will Hold More Power?

You've Met Your Match

(A/N: Last chapter up today, and last in this story. I hope you enjoyed it. Forgive whatever offensive undertones there were. Later on I may or may not do more Fairly Odd Parents stories, but right now I'm stuck on Billy and Mandy. And or Evil Con Carne. Thanks for reading. I usually do final notes at the bottom, but I did that after chapter two, so no worries.)

Who Will Hold More Power?

Crocker turned to the vault. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof instantly turned back to pencil, eraser, and sharpener form. Crocker pulled the trio out and tossed them to Vicky. "We'll find out one way or another Turner," he stated.

Vicki smirked evilly at the objects. "I wonder how long it will take to grind this pencil into powder," she remarked.

Timmy gasped, mouth dropped. "You wouldn't!" he exclaimed.

"What's the matter twerp?" Vicky questioned sweetly.

"They're just replaceable school supplies," Crocker cruelly added, coming next to Vicki with a pair of scissors. Vicki, in a good mood, handed him the Wanda eraser.

"You can do the honours for that one," she stated.

"Gladly," Crocker stated, holding the scissors next to Wanda. Wanda broke into a sweat. Cosmo cried out in alarm as Vicki placed him in the 'sharpener.' Poof began to cry. He was going to hurt his daddy, and he didn't even _mean_ to! Daddy wouldn't come back, _or_ mommy!

"Wait, Vicky, Crocker, no, please!" Timmy begged.

"Why are these things so important to you Turner? Are they your _Fairy God Parents_!" Crocker spazzed.

"They-they…" Timmy began. Cosmo cried out in pain as Vicky began to grind. Wanda screamed as the scissors started to dig in. Timmy, tears in his eyes, exclaimed, "I'll tell you, okay, I'll tell you!" He burst into tears.

"We're waiting," Crocker prompted.

"C-can I ask you two one-one question?" Timmy choked.

"Shoot," Vicki replied.

"Don't shoot, no! The bad guys always lose if you shoot!" Crocker exclaimed, trying to prevent it.

Vicky gasped, but couldn't go back in time. Timmy, tears instantly dry, asked, "Who will get the most power when you two take over the world, Crocker or Vicky?"

The two villains blinked blankly, then looked at each other. They really should have seen that coming. As far as Timmy was concerned, he'd won. This always happened in the movies. After a long moment, Vicki uneasily replied, "Shared power?"

"Since when do either of you share ultimate power?" Timmy questioned. "Good luck with that."

"W-well…" Crocker began.

"You two were planning on betraying each other, weren't you?" Timmy pressed.

Crocker and Vicki looked blankly at each other, then back. "Actually, yeah," Vicky admitted, instantly knowing that both of them had the same thought. Had either really doubted it would be any other way?

"So you can't share power, and neither of you can beat each other, who wins?" Timmy asked.

"I can beat him _any_ day!" Vicki instantly defended.

"Just try it devil child!" Crocker shot.

"Gladly!" Vicky retorted. Instantly she sprang as Crocker pressed his remote. In seconds the two were scrapping on the ground, each using their own abilities. The fairies lay on the ground.

"Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, I wish we were back home!" Timmy exclaimed. The three grinned and raised their wands.

Timmy sat back on his bed, relaxed. Sighing contentedly, he remarked, "Well that was close."

"I'll say. My legs _still_ hurt," Cosmo said.

"Da da…" Poof apologetically said, sitting on Cosmo's lap.

"Oh Poof, it's not your fault," Cosmo assured.

"I'm just glad we're all okay," Wanda remarked. "What do you think happened to Crocker and Vicky?"

"Who knows? Hopefully they destroyed each other," Timmy replied.

The secret exit opened, and the two tumbled out of the Crocker Cave, panting, Vicky on top of Crocker. They couldn't go on. Vicki pulled herself off of the teacher, saying, "Darn it, we were so _close_! I could have destroyed the twerp once and for all! No!"

"They were in my hands!" Crocker exclaimed in shock, sitting up. "I had fairies in my _hands_! This is _your_ fault!"

Vicki stopped crying, instead turning angry, and shot, "_My_ fault, it was _yours_!"

"Oh who are we kidding? It was both our faults, and we know it," Crocker grumbled, straightening his tie.

"Well, you learn from your mistakes, right?" Vicky questioned, suddenly worried that their partnership was over. They had been so close. Closer than ever before, almost, and they'd done it together, not alone. If she lost this ally, who knew when she'd find another?

Crocker blinked at her, then caught on. He frowned, assuring, "Don't worry your pretty red head about it. I'm not backing out of this one. Next time Turner is ours."

"You're sticking it out?" Vicki asked, shocked.

"I'm more surprised _you_ are," he answered.

"Whoa, that was, easy," she said. They were silent a long moment. Finally, though, she pulled out a paper, saying, "Um, Cracker, you think you can help me with my homework again?"

Crocker blinked at her blankly, then shrugged, replying, "Why not?" He took part of the paper and read it over, pointing things out to her and explaining them as best as possible without giving her the answers. Next time they'd have him. They'd have him. They…


End file.
